Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Handicapping Idol: Craig Berman is a moron.

For the past two weeks, I've actually sent feedback to Craig Berman, the "writer in Washington D.C." who writes about American Idol on the MSNBC website that serves as the start-up page for me and everyone else I know. Last year, I ripped him a new one on this very blog, and this year he's back and worse than ever. Last week, I plead with MSNBC to get an actual entertainment writer to cover the idol phenomenon -- one who is capable of more than recycling the judge's misguided and often poorly articulated comments. I also pointed out that his attempts to be savvy -- saying Elliot Yamin's albums would probably bear a sticker that said "as seen on TV" were especially grating. (As I have been maintaining for weeks, Elliot Yamin is by far, the best singer ever to compete on Idol, including Kelly Clarkson.)

Anygay, this week, the great Berman appeared to have taken my comment to heart (I know, it's pathetic. You know, I once had a reading audience of over half a million, now I have delusions that a sub-mental free-lancer actually read my comment) because he contradicted the judges for the first time. Only problem is, Berman made his move on Elliot Yamin, whom Simon and Randy can recognize as a major talent, but who Berman decided to say had "no sense of rhythm." He also said Yamin was a sure thing to go home and Chris was the surest bet to stay. Well, I wonder how he'll wriggle out of this (or if he'll even try): Elliot was in the top two, and Chris went home.

I wish I'd posted last night, because then I'd be a prophet to both of my readers. I could have told them that Elliot would pick up all the fans of discernment who had been voting for the brilliant Paris (he stole me off the Paris ship). I could also have told them that Chris blew it last night with his pre-song patter. Ryan asked him about his fans, and instead of demuring, he chose to brag about them. He then said: "just to answer their question, boxer-briefs." Then, to prove that he's not only cocky, but dim, he added: "they'll know what I'm talking about."

Yes Chris, only those foxy wanna-be groupies who thought of such a salicious question as what kind of underwear you prefer (it was already a cliche 12 years ago when Hanes used it in a commercial) would know what you meant. The rest of your fan base, most of whom are voting for you because you have a doting wife and step-children whom you support by working in retail, will have no idea what you meant. They certainly wouldn't think you are a cad for flirting with your female fan base on national TV. Sheesh.

Well, I should have bet on it or something.